I feel as though I haven’t really spoken about my feelings in a while.
Since starting back on Trazodone, I’ve been feeling really drained. I’m just so tired all the time.
But I noticed that I had some days where I felt ok. I had a few days where I laughed and enjoyed myself and managed to put my depression to the back of my mind.
But the past week or so I’ve noticed it’s back again. It never went; it just became managable.
I’m not sure why, but I’ve been feeling really down again.
I’ve muted my group chats with friends because I just cannot be bothered with interaction. I’ve gone back to sitting in my room all day reading a book, or binge watching House md. (I love Hugh Laurie).
I feel as though I need to scream, stand at the top of a mountain in the middle of nowhere, isolated from the world for a while and just scream. I want to cry, but I can’t seem to do it; I feel like I need to cry.
I just feel really weird alone and annoyed. I don’t know why, but I do. I can’t stand talking to people sometimes because I just want to be left alone, but then I feel so alone.
I just feel really depressed right now. I should be happy. I’ve passed my first year of uni as a history student. I did really well, I’ve got the summer to relax and a holiday coming up. And yet, I don’t want to leave my room.
I don’t know.
I hate this.